Thursday, May 12, 2011

Maybe it would all be explained if I could read Chinese...

Okay, we're back to this again...  Adult subject warning.

I'm sure it will shock no one to learn that the Internet is a very strange and dangerous place.  However, even I was quite surprised to discover just how quickly my innocent curiosity can see me fall down the rabbit hole of web weirdness.

This was how my evening began: on the apparently safe ground of iTunes.

I was looking for music videos to add to my phone.  I'm partial to a good music video, but I think there are scarce few of them that I'd bother buying.  A lot of the "great classic videos" now bore me a bit, just for the fact that I've seen them too many times.  However, when I like a video I generally like it for the sheer production value and composition, rather than just the music.  I treat them like little movies - an art-form in themselves.  I'll buy videos of songs that I don't like, but not bother with bad videos to otherwise great songs.

My quest led me to quickly purchase REM's Everybody Hurts, as well as The Prodigy's Smack My Bitch Up (both classics in themselves - and I apologize for YouTube pixelating all the naked women).  As I searched through categories like a rummaging bag-lady, I tried to remember things I'd seen in the past and enjoyed.  I cursed how few good videos are available for sale on iTunes.  One particular video played on my mind, but I didn't know who the band was.  "... you know... that one set in the Forbidden City... with all the Last Emperor bits... and the singer with the pretty eyes..."  

It was a video that I first saw on TV about four years ago, and used it to irritate R.  He hated the song the moment it came on and wanted to change channels.  I just stared intently at the screen and replied "Shush!  The singer is making googey eyes at me!"  I thought the comment was a whole lot funnier than R did (he just gave me that "oh really?" look), but I still remembered the video four years later, and wondered if I should find it just to annoy him.

A very quick search of Google revealed the song to be From Yesterday by 30 Seconds to Mars.  Yes.  This is how old and uncool I am.  I have no idea who 30 Seconds to Mars are.  This is possibly the reason why they don't anger me in the same way that they anger R... but I'm really too old and uncool to be bothered about liking the "right" bands and disliking the "wrong" ones.  I like what I like.  And I liked the video.  It was clearly expensive and had nice cinematography.

Still, I wanted to be sure that I'd still like it on a second viewing.  iTunes was being its usual copyright-enforcing self and only giving me a short preview.  However, Google took me to the full length Vevo clip on YouTube....  Which is right here (all 13+ mins of it)(sorry about the ads):

See?...  Very purdy eyes.  I think he kinda looks like a Siamese cat.

Now, after watching the video for a second time, it occurred to me that I knew that singer from somewhere.  One of those little niggly thoughts that eats away at the back of your brain when you're sure you recognize the face but don't want to say so in case you make a dick of yourself and discover that they just resemble some person who once served you in a shop...  So I went to Wikipedia to find out where I knew him from.

His name's Jared Leto.  As it turns out, beyond just being a singer, he's also an actor (yes, I know, I would probably have known that if I ever bothered to read a celebrity magazine... ever).  He's also a bit older than I thought he was.  Either it's good make-up or he's aged well.  I must have seen him in Fight Club.  And American Psycho... 

"Who the hell was he in Fight Club?"

Wikipedia took me to his profile on IMDB.  Turns out he was "Angel Face" - the hot blond guy who had his face caved in by Edward Norton.  Now I know...  

It also turns out that he directed that From Yesterday video himself (under a pseudonym).  That made me grin a bit, because even though I'd say it was very nicely directed and he seems to know how to compose a shot, it might explain all the lingering close-ups.  Like the time I sat down in front of the video of Van Halen's Jump and snarked to somebody that whoever the director was, she was obviously madly in love with David Lee Roth because he was onscreen pretty much all the time and he got all the nice, soft, slow motion bits...  And then I discovered that David Lee Roth directed that video himself, and it all made a lot of sense really.  Call it Lead Singer Disease.

Now IMDB is kind of a half-fan/half-trade site.  If you subscribe, you can get contact details for the guy's agent and such like, in case you want to hire him.  A lot of the info on IMDB is pretty well vetted, and designed to make the performers (and films) look good.  However, at the bottom of everyone's IMDB profile, there's a message board section where anybody can post things that link to a particular actor (or a particular film).  Usually they're fans asking very specific and geeky questions (eg. "What was the name of that song that played for ten seconds behind that one scene where they're in the kitchen?").  Attractive men also seem to have lots of message posts about their "hotness", which appear to have uniformly been written by squealing teenage girls.  Attractive women tend to get less of this lecherous posting, but I guess there's still a bit of it.

However, what drew me to Mr. Leto's message board was that the top post is titled: "This is absolutely untrue..."  .... Hmmm.  Well you can't just pass by a statement that intriguing, can you?  What is untrue?  And is it really untrue?  Why post it here if you don't want people to believe this lie?  Why give it a wider forum than it has already attained?

One click took me to this post (which I'm just going to repeat in its entirety):
by Samantha2013 (Sun May 1 2011 22:13:46)
A friend and I were discussing something absolutely irrelevant in which she went to look up the irrelevant thing we were trying to figure out, in which she found this little gem, and sent me the link to laugh in delight or possibly in sorrow for the poor man who had this written about him..
I responded there when I read it, but it said something about a moderator having to allow it to be posted, so I'm stating it here too.. This story is either absolutely untrue or he treats the women he dates completely different than the groupies he sleeps with. I don't know why but I felt like I needed to defend the guy in saying this. I don't know where all these stories began and where they started but I know this is not true. Bits and pieces are true but I highly doubt this girl really had this experience.

I use to live out in California for years and I happen to still be friends with a girl who Jared dated on and off for a couple years. We talked, as all girls do over drinks about our private and sex life, her included, and I never once heard her ever say that she was fantasy raped by the guy, or that he was overly rough or that he enjoyed choking a girl out during sex. These are all lies, unless like I said, he treats other women he doesn't have relationships with different. I happen to know alot about things she had said in the past about their sex life and she knows about all us girls who are a group of friends, and the only thing I do know to be true is that he does sometimes enjoy spanking and he does have a above average size...other than that, I highly doubt the rest of this story to be true. Our friend had been raped as a teen so I highly doubt she would have enjoyed being fantasy raped over and over again for 2 years to kick up old memories.

I remember, while living in Cali, I would meet up with her on occasion at parties at mutual friends homes in the hills and sometimes he would be with her, and he seemed like a nice and attentive boyfriend by all accounts and everything she ever said to us. He didn't seem like the guy who was going to slam you down and make you feel pain lol. I do remember her talking on occasion about how sex was difficult for them when they started sleeping together because of the size of him and the fact that she was not a whore, and how she sometimes needed to take baths or get frozen vegetable bags out of the freezer after she had sex and I remember when she was telling this issue to us, me specifically asking her if he was gentle, because that's something you think of when you hear something as that, and she had said that he was gentle, and that he had gone to a pharmacy one night to buy different kinds of lube to see if that helped at all because he felt bad when she was in pain so these crazy stories about him hurting girls just isn't adding up when I personally know someone who had slept with him many, many, many times and what she tells her girlfriends. I also remember when they would every once in awhile take small weekend trips when their schedules allowed it, and I remember her talking about one weekend in specific where she was talking about him taking her to San Ysidro Ranch in Santa Barbara and how romantic he made things and how they spent most of the weekend in their cottage making love, so once again, if he was fantasy raping or choking her out and being rough, I seriously doubt she would be able to keep up with a full weekend.

Just this whole thing seems ridiculous. I am not there to know for sure whether these stories are true or not but I do know they exact opposites of everything I ever heard from a girl who was with him on and off for quite awhile. Like I said, maybe he is different with groupies, and goes all out on weird fantasies that he would never try with the ones he actually loves, but it just seems like such polar opposites that I have to wonder the validity of their stories when everything I've ever been told about the guy doesn't even touch these stories being spoken about on the internet, and had I seen something like this sooner, I would have said the same then. 


So, wait...  Is this lady mad about someone writing about the man's sexual habits?  Because she proceeds to go into quite a bit of detail herself...

So, you know I have to go to the link she's given, just out of sheer morbid curiosity.  A casual "who the fuck is that guy?" has now turned into a full train-wreck rubber-necking kind of thing...

The original post (which got IMDB lady so angry) is actually on a groupie message board, on a different site.  It's titled (cringe): "Subject: Jared leto fucking RAPES his hookups." ... Oh, this can't be good...

Date Posted: 16:06:18 06/24/08 Tue
Author Host/IP:
In reply to: Susie Sawdust 's message, "Re: 30 Seconds to Mars (Jared Leto)" on 08:34:27 03/05/08 Wed

He's a fucking dick and an asshole and doesn't give a shit about the girls he hooks up with in the least! I know that's NO surprise and I didn't expect him to care about me or fall in love or anything HAHA. Alot of rockstars don't give a shit but at least they treat you like a person. This guy is one of the most selfish lovers i've ever experienced even to this day. I hooked up with him several years ago and I was about 4 months over 17. He was the 4th rockstar I hooked up with "all the way" not just sucking off , at that time.

I'm not fully blonde but I had blonde highlights then over light brown hair, blue/green eyes, and I'm about 5'6 115 lbs-slim but not too thin and my boobs are a B so not huge. If I had to compare myself to a celebrity, I'd say I look like Jennifer Aniston so not a huge knockout but not entirely ugly. I'm sort of sweet-faced and he made several mentions about my face looking innocent.

Anyway, the choking is 100% true as well as restraining and alot of holding you down. He fucks hard and rough and quick. There's alot of movement and position shifting and tit biting and sucking. There were marks left. He doesn't give a shit that his cock is fucking giganto and it hurt like satan. It's not only long, had to be about 11-12". It's thick and it burned and he wouldn't slow down even when I told him to. There were times were I had to bite down on him because of the pain down there and he didn't give 2 pisses about it. I think he got pleasure out of hurting me, in retrospect but I was too young and didn't know that then. He was a major dick when I would tell him to slow down or to change position to ease the pain a little. After that, I'd get attitude.

I didn't like the choking and at least he eased a bit on that but he still did the wrist restraining and ramming. I like rough sex but he seems to zone out and it's scary.

I liked the ass smacking, that was a huge turn on and I didn't mind his name-calling but basically the whole time I was fucking him, I felt as though I was being raped and not even a "play rape". In his mind, it seemed like he thought he was fucking raping me. It was very odd.

So girls, if you're into this whole thing then by all means, Jared's your man. I'll say one thing, if you can handle a big cock, go for it.

Oh awesome...  I really regret clicking on that now.

And it occurs to me that, within ten minutes, I have gone from not knowing the foggiest thing about this guy (up to and including his name) to suddenly knowing that his alleged sexual partners report that he has a huge penis and enjoys choking and name-calling....  Great.

I spend the next ten minutes scrolling through the various posts on that groupie message board - both before and after this woman's rant... and shaking my head a bit, and wondering why the fuck I'm reading this stuff.  There are lots of other posts apparently disclaiming or corroborating bits and pieces of her story.  The size thing seems to have several witnesses.  The choking too... but some women claim to like it.  Other than this lady, nobody else has anything really bad to say.  Who the fuck knows if anything is true?

Now someone who knows me in real life will know that I'll bring sex into any conversation.  Amongst my friends, I'm famous for it.  I'm totally happy to talk about sex in grossly clinical detail.  I'm a complete sex-nerd.  So the graphic nature of something like this doesn't offend me at all...  But I rarely, if ever, talk about MY sexual experiences.  To me, that's someone else's secrets I'm sharing too.

So this was definitely more train-wreck than I was expecting.  I'll be honest: I don't give a shit what the man allegedly likes in bed, or how endowed he is.  I'm never going to fuck him, so why would I care?  It just made me feel sorry for him.

However, I'm not going to get all judgey about the women who DO get together and compare notes on this stuff.  Because, if banging rock stars is your thing, then it only makes sense to get a bit of background info.  I accept that the problem with any one-night-stand is that you never really know what you're going to get.  And if your post-show hook-up is into something that you're not into, then it's probably better to know that beforehand.  It might enable you to make a more informed choice.  Let's face it: at the end of the day, a lot of these ladies are out for a bit of fun, rather than just fixating on one performer in particular.  You might think this musician is hot, but if you know that you're not sexually compatible, then you're probably going to choose someone else.  No harm, no foul.

Of course, it should always be remembered that one person's experience of a one-night-stand may differ from another's.  Nobody has sex the same way every time.  Not even famous people...  Probably.

I can still see the value of the message board though.  If I was into banging rock stars, I'd probably read that post and (taking everything with a grain of salt) decide to find someone smaller.  When you're in a relationship, you can find ways to make things work - but if you want the sex to be enjoyable the first time around, it helps to be anatomically suited.  I've met big before, but big does tend to make things more tricky.  I suspect that other women would read that message the same way.

Naturally, I'm never going to downplay an allegation of rape (helllll no!), nor am I going to suggest that "nice" or "pretty" guys don't do such things...  But for what it's worth, the lady who claimed to have such a bad experience with him doesn't actually specify whether (after having given consent in the first place) she ever withdrew consent.  It would appear not, considering she describes it as "it seemed like he thought he was fucking raping me".  Emphasis on the words "seemed" and "thought" - as though she was trying to interpret his fantasy, rather than making a clear allegation.  If you told him to stop, and he doesn't, then you both know what's going on.  It sounds rough, painful and unpleasant... but not forced.  I'm sure I'm not the only woman on earth who's had painful and unpleasant sex that was still fully consensual.  Sometimes you just suck it up and give him a bit of "Oh, alright already...  just make it quick."  And sometimes you're just young and stupid and don't know that sex gets any better.  The word "rape" is a heavy one - about as heavy as four letters can be - and shouldn't be thrown around without due consideration.  But that's just my opinion, and I'm not going to chastise the woman for venting.  It sounds like she'd pissed.  It's just that she could have found another way or another place to let go of this experience.  Bad sex or hurt feelings are not justification enough to try and bring another person down in flames.

I guess what surprises me about all this is that I found this page without really looking for it, and linked off some very mainstream websites.  It made me wince for this guy - remembering that I still know basically nothing about him.  But he's a person too, and probably not so keen to have himself described in this way (... well, he might be okay with the "huge cock" thing).  Regardless of whether the story is true or not, its publication is about as justified as some angry ex-boyfriend posting naked pictures of you in a chat room... only to have someone then link them off your personal profile on your company's website.  Not cool.

But perhaps I'm still very old-fashioned.  I value someone's ability to keep it civil, even when they've been hurt.  It wouldn't be cool if a man wrote about a woman in this way, so I'm kinda surprised that this post has been up for three years without it being removed (or the lady getting sued).

Am I wrong?...


  1. :D

    The Chinese subtitles basically match the English dialogue; there is no subtle "inside joke" and they only thing you probably missed was that when they asked the Little Emperor what he wanted for his birthday, he asked for "the sound of tomorrow".

    I have to confess (sheepishly) that I didn't "get" the video or your take on it. I was pretty impressed when, during the fight scene, one of the guys kicks his opponent directly in the adam's apple. Ouch. It's around the 9 minute mark? How did they make it look so real?


    Your friend,

    Eduardo Q

  2. I dunno. I think the only commentary I'd make on the video is that the singer stares directly into camera quite a lot. He's deliberately breaking that fourth wall and seems to be making quite a big deal out of the fact that his eyes are very striking. To me, I automatically took that as "I'm so pretty that I'm going to make all the 12-year-old girls get wet"... Which is kinda why I was taking the piss out of it. He's self-aware in his prettiness.

    The fight scene obviously has a few professional stuntmen in it (and that kick was really good)... and a few non-professional ones too. Look at some of the long shots again. Every time I watch that scene over, I just see all these men spending most of the time circling round unnecessarily and only vaguely making contact with their swords. I think it could have been choreographed a little better if they really wanted to make them look like they wanted to kill each other.... But it IS a music video, and I'm just ant-fucking now.

    Nothing deeper than that, I'm afraid. :]

    ***big hugs***

  3. And no, I wasn't really expecting it to say "I have a huge cock" in Chinese... ;P

  4. Although that would have been very funny... "Any girls in China who think they can handle me, my number is 555-4792"...

    See, (if we believe the groupie boards) he not only looks like a Siamese cat but fucks like one too....

  5. Can you throw some more light on this friend of yours who was apparently seeing Jared Leto? I'm doing an intensive research on Jared Leto and his personality in general and it would really be a big help if I could connect with this friend of yours. I request you to kindly drop me a mail at Thank you for your time!

    And I know I'm 3 years late to comment, but I only recently stumbled upon your blog. Thanks, once again!

    - Rush

  6. I think you misunderstood. The two stories I've quoted are indented, because it's something someone else wrote about him on another site. I've never met Mr. Leto and so far as I know I have never met anyone else who has met him. My post was just about the moment of horror I got when I Googled him and easily found a whole bunch of detailed and apparently very personal things other people had written about him. I have no idea whether any of the stories that I linked to were true, and I'm not prepared to even suggest that they are. I have no idea of the identities of the various ladies in question.